Shevek (shevek) wrote,
Shevek
shevek

It's a funny time in my life. I feel like I'm at the top of a rollercoaster and I don't know what's over the hump. I'm a long way from home, I don't know where I'll be, or what I'll be doing next week, never mind next month. It's all a little out of my control. Milton's epic tone is about as close as I can come to expressing it: lack of knowledge or experience, in the face of something awesome: the future.


When I consider how my light is spent
   Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
   And that one talent which is death to hide
   Lodg'd with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
   My true account, lest he returning chide-
   "Doth God exact day-labor, light denied?"
   I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies: "God doth not need
   Either man's work, or his own gifts: who best
   Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly; thousands at his bidding speed
   And post o'er land and ocean without rest:
   They also serve who only stand and wait."


Some thing are going to be easier, but I suspect they'll be utterly drowned by the things which are harder. Every time I go through Vancouver airport, I like to stop and stare at the waterfall. The customs agents think I'm crazy, or lost, but it's a beautiful sound, and some minutes without worry listening to the dance of water over the rocks is all that stops some days turning into train, airport, plane, bus, taxi, office, ... rather like the cut-scene in the movie Snatch. So I must also consider W. H. Davies:


What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.


And just for fun, Hilaire Belloc's Elephant, because more than ever, the world needs sanity, common sense, and a sense of humour:


When people call this beast to mind,
They marvel more and more
At such a little tail behind,
So large a trunk before.


If you found this in the floods of happy-new-year posts, and made it this far, happy new year to you. For most of you it's already happened. I'm still at work, but I'll be going out soon for a couple of hours and trying to make the most of it.
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